I had such a lovely time at home for Christmas. I saw just how lucky, and loved, I am. I have such a wonderful family, and despite all of the struggles, we all stick by each other.
I’ve been practically glued to my sister. We spent all of my time at home together, and then when I decided to come back to Leicester early, she came with me until yesterday. We went out for a meal on New Years Eve, I had a pizza from Pizza Express, and sorbet. It was lovely.
I’ve spent far too much money, been on the ferris wheel which was 110ft!, booked to go to Scotland to see my friend who is basically my second sister, booked to go to Disneyland in May with my sister and now I am considering going to Italy as soon as I get my passport, if I can afford it, to meet up with a guy from college who I barely spoke to!
I’ve had some pretty bad days too, but my family and my psychiatrist have supported me and I am so very fortunate to have the support I have. I’m doing EMDR treatment, and I am maybe going to start a body image group which lasts for ten weeks, and is for people at a healthier weight, to help you accept the weight gain. My psychiatrist said I am at a turning point.
I am also 46 days self-harm free. I cannot believe it. I never thought I could do it/would do it.
This real recovery thing is shit a huge amount of time, and I’d rather not go through it. Coming back to university is hard, because I have less support around me, and there is a lot of stress with work, but I wouldn’t go back to the girl who couldn’t even walk up the stairs because she was so weak, or the girl who was bandaged up like a mummy and couldn’t move her arms because of the pain of staples, for anything.
P.S. I am going to do another post later with lots of photographs, so sorry in advance! But I’ve had too many fab times lately to not!