Things have been getting worse again and I was kidding myself they weren’t. After uni today I got into a state. I say after uni, it started at uni. I walked home crying which is a rare thing, and embarrassing. And then I was an idiot, so I called my GP and saw an on call, and he sent me to A&E. I declined to see the mental health team because I’d rather not see people who nine times out of ten, make me feel worse.
I want to run away from everything right now. I have skipped the gym because after A&E, it’s the last place I want to go, and realistically it’s not physically a great idea right now. But that triggers my mood to get even worse. I mean, I will go after work tomorrow, but that is also the last thing I want to do. In fact it fills me with dread.
Everything just seems really crap right now and there is no better summary of it than that. I know I need to sort my attitude out and be more positive, and all of that stuff. But I honestly want to go to my bedroom, shut the door, and stay there for about a year…preferably 70 years.