Home for the weekend

I had planned to go home next weekend, but I came home this weekend. Some stuff has happened between my family and I, and after someone giving me a hug on Thursday it made me realise I needed..well, more hugs! And to feel ‘safe’ (I did something positive instead of struggling alone at uni?!) So I went to my journalism workshop on Friday afternoon and then I got the coach home.

I’m heading back very early Monday morning because I am seeing a plastic surgeon at the hospital at 11.30am, which I am a bit worried about, but it is still nice to be home – even if Mum is in bed from a night shift and my sister is in hospital (she is coming home this afternoon fingers crossed!).

I also start treatment at the PD service on Tuesday. I feel like it’s bad timing with everything that is going on at the moment, but maybe it is good timing and it just doesn’t feel like it.

My dissertation is on 9, 500 words so I’m not really panicking about that. I have an essay which I am worrying about instead. I also have a presentation a week on Friday but I’m trying to be coooool with that because Natalie can do presentations now 😉

Have some photographs of my baby Luna:


Therapy update

I am officially starting therapy with the personality disorder service on the 19th. I was first referred to them in 2013 where I decided not to enter the treatment, I saw them again last May and left with the intention of deferring my final year to start treatment that September, but I didn’t defer, and I didn’t contact them.

After some incidents over the last few months my psychiatrist and the deliberate self-harm team encouraged me to see them again, which I did. I had my final assessment today where we created my care plan, and I am doing this.

It starts with a preparation group, followed by an interview I have to get through to then go to the therapeutic community three days per week for approximately one year. The prep group can take up to six months, but should take two to three ideally. The interview is with three patients and two staff, who get one vote each on whether I enter the therapeutic community.

Today was really tough. Sweat was literally pouring off me and I nearly walked out. I also disassociated and normally people don’t say anything, but today the therapist did, which was hard.

Baby steps.